Releasing Chaos Read online

  The visceral need to be closer finally drove me to approach. Cautiously, I grasped Ushna's tail above the spiked end. Oh, he liked that, if the thrumming noise he made was any indication. He didn't halt the thorough mauling he gave Tristan, but Ushna did arch his back. His odd mane undulated on its own. I wanted to run my fingers through it, feel the texture against my skin. But first I had on too many clothes. As I stepped away, Ushna snarled, the sound raising the hair on the back of my neck, then he shredded the T-shirt Tristan wore with a set of wicked looking claws. Tristan wriggled and moaned loudly, as if Ushna had done something wickedly carnal instead of ruin his clothing.

  "Oh, Gods, that was so fucking hot." I panted harshly, pulling off my shoes.

  Tristan raised up on his elbows, giving a wolfish growl when Ushna ran those same claws down Tristan's chest, leaving behind raised red marks. As I watched Tristan gasp, his head fell back and he released sexy noises. I almost lost my load like an untried teenager. With fumbling fingers, I jerked off the offending garments and pressed into Ushna's side, my hard length pushed against the pliant scales of his hip.

  I hadn't missed much. Tristan's monstrosity of a belt buckle sat centered under his navel where his happy trail disappeared beneath. The hidden bulge was impressive considering how tight Tristan wore his Wranglers. The outline of his engorged cock along his right upper thigh begged for attention. Experimentally, I ran my fingertips over the denim covering his length and Tristan gurgled as if he swallowed his tongue while he pushed his groin into my touch.

  Ushna captured Tristan's hips and I raked my nails over him, rubbing the head again. This time Tristan released a disjointed list of obscenities. Gods, I needed, but I didn't want to stop watching Ushna, nor did I want to quit Tristan's sensual torture. My body ached to be touched, and I rotated my hips, running my hard cock over Ushna's slick scales, loving how they felt against my hot skin.

  Hissing, Ushna turned slightly and carded his claws through my hair. He grasped a handful and jerked my head back, his mouth swallowing my gasp. He ravaged my lips, taking them like he owned them—owned me. His teeth scraped over my skin and I grasped his shoulder when my limbs trembled, threatening to give out just from him sucking my tongue into his mouth.

  Embarrassingly, I whimpered as he pulled away. When he released my hair, my scalp tingled. His tri-colored eyes stared down at me—into me, as if he could see beyond the barrier I'd erected to hide my innermost fears and insecurities. I wanted to glance away, but his gaze held me hostage.

  "This hesitancy will cease as of today." Ushna rasped, and I wasn't sure what he spoke of, but his eyes promised I'd soon find out. "I'm done with foreplay," he announced before I could question him.

  Ushna used his claws to swiftly slice through Tristan's denim as if the jeans had the consistency of warm butter. The slow tearing sounded was highly erotic, and a shiver worked up my spine. I wrapped my arms around Ushna's waist, rubbing my cheek against his shoulder, licking the polished surface. He tasted of fresh water and masculine musk. His thrashing tail brushed against the outside of my lower thigh and I caught the appendage in my hand, running my fingers along the bottom, again. Suddenly, I couldn't get enough of touching Ushna, savoring him, tasting him on my tongue. I wanted to hear Tristan scream with pleasure, to hear him beg for release. I simply wanted to bask in every sensation.

  Moving to lick and kiss the back of Ushna's neck, what I thought of as his mane undulated as if we floated underwater. The ends stroked my face and I gently pulled away, unsure if I could grip the mass and treat it like human hair.

  "Ushna." I squeezed the base of his tail, demanding his attention. Within me rose the power with which Lycans identified their alphas. The energy pressed at the boundaries of my skin, anticipating Ushna's submission. "Change into your human form for us."

  Before I knew what happened, Ushna had spun, grasped and twisted my arm up behind my back. He planted me face first on the table next to Tristan. He didn't hurt me, but the action stole my breath. Tristan stilled, his eyes wide as he glanced from Ushna to me. When he met my eyes, I could see the question shining there.

  "I'm all right."

  Obviously that had been the wrong thing to say. Ushna made a sharp noise of warning, his grip on my arm tightening. Like Tristan and me, Ushna was an alpha, but one who always deferred to Tristan. When my energy pressed against him, silently demanding his submission, his own power lashed back. Since his return, I'd sensed the inherent danger surrounding him, but in my lust, I forgot the peril. Now, the intensity emanating from Ushna grew, pressing down on me, fighting with my energy.

  In response, I wasn't sure if it was intentional or simply a reaction, but Tristan's alpha nature flared. The room filled with the push-pull of alphas warring for dominance. I hadn't meant to trigger the struggle just because I wanted my way. For the moment, I was caught between Ushna and Tristan. I gave into my instincts, which counseled that the only way to subdue an alpha was to submit to their will.

  Turning, I pressed my forehead into the cool surface of the stone table and closed my eyes, working on relaxing my whole body. The fighter in me rebelled for one heart-stopping moment. Memories of past lives rose, showing me all the ways I could be free of Ushna's hold, but I chose to ignore the knowledge. Tristan was our ultimate alpha. There was no one stronger or more powerful than he. If he joyfully submitted to Ushna's ministrations, so too could I. Did I need to be on guard right then? Surely I could re-don the mantel of Tiamat's Sword after we left the room.

  Tentatively, I curled my alpha strength around my core. As I did, something indefinable eased within me. A tension I hadn't realized I carried released, causing my muscles to liquify and my breathing to slow.

  Ushna gave a low noise of approval, licking the back of my neck. Focused on my submission, I didn't realize he'd let my wrists go until he ran both his hands down my back. Grasping my hips roughly, he pulled my ass out, kicking at my feet and prompting me to widen my stance. Shudders wracked my body when he parted my cheeks and ran the pad of his finger over my pucker.

  Someone moved, probably Tristan but I didn't look, concentrating instead on Ushna's touch circling my entrance while his other hand gripped the globe of my ass in an almost punishing hold. I bit back my plea for more; I wouldn't embarrass him with begging. Gods, I wanted Ushna to mark my skin, for Tristan to bite me. I needed both of them to fill me up and claim me again.

  Cool liquid slid down the cleft of my ass and Ushna spread the gel, slicking not only the skin around my pucker but the valley between my ass cheeks. Then he covered me with his body, his warm scales pressing against my cooler skin. His palms brushed over my shoulders, traveling up my arms until his fingers threaded through mine above my head. My breath left me in a stuttering hiss as Ushna pressed his hips against my butt, his long thick length gliding teasingly along the valley of my ass.

  "Are you still trying to make us believe you're all right, Brian?" Ushna rumbled against my skin.

  The sense of foreboding that had surrounded me since I'd been reborn lessened as my mind filled with how he felt against me. Since returning, I'd become accustomed to the constant sense of trepidation. It had become an itch I couldn't scratch, always keeping me on edge. Not surprising since I had woken from Stasis to Ushna being attacked by several warriors. Then we had moved from one battle to the next. Perhaps the constant danger caused me to be continually on edge? Even so, that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me.

  "I thought we were supposed to be the ones to remind you who you are?" I gasped out, ignoring Ushna's question. When both Tristan and I had been reborn, we needed help to recall who we were. Taking Ushna's blood secured us to the present so we were revived to ourselves instead of lost to the memories of our past lives. How… why had Ushna been reborn knowing who he was?

  Tristan leaned in until I saw him from the corner of my eye. "We are. This, what you see here of Ushna, is who he is in the bedroom. Here he is a caretaker, the dominant partner, our alpha. Afterw
ards he turns a bit shy over his actions, but this now, the growly Ushna trying to take care of you, is who he is behind closed doors. In public, he's a quiet force, but here he needs this, needs us to submit to him. Even when I top, I'm submitting to him. Do you understand? Can you give yourself over into his care?"

  A couple of days ago, I would've said no. I enjoyed bottoming, but I didn't truly release control. I wasn't sure I could, until now. Well, possibly. Not only that, I hadn't realized how tightly coiled I'd been, and submitting, even this little bit, had pulled me back from a dangerous edge.

  "You need to see I'm not the same as the two of you." Ushna's voice was low, guttural. Was he revealing the secrets of his creature to us? Perhaps he was. "You and Tristan will walk out the door and bear the brunt of the world, take on burdens, level strife. But here, with me, I will unpack those burdens and release you from the stress so you can go back out and do it all over again. I am strong enough to be the balance for both of you. You never have to worry about falling because I will catch you." Ushna thrust his hips, his length sliding over my hole and I groaned, hungry for more.

  Already my senses were swamped by his heat and heady scent. "Will you let me catch you, Brian? Do you trust me?"

  I didn't hesitate. "Yes."

  Ushna's growl sounded more wolf than dragon, but the noise had the same effect. I rolled my head to the side to bare my neck to him. He licked and sucked, leaving behind stinging bites. When he rose, he drew my hands to the small of my back. My heart sped with both trepidation and excitement at the thought of being restrained, even if only by Ushna's physical hold.

  He made a noise that caused my skin to prickle. "Oh, you like that."

  "Bring him over to the bed." Tristan sounded close and out of breath. Did he enjoy watching as much as I did?

  "I don't know. If I let you go, will you do what I say, Brian?"

  I had the urge to bang my head on the table because I wanted to be fucked now, and here we were moving around and talking. My snarly remark only proved how on edge I was. "I don't know—do I get to come anytime soon?"

  Ushna's chuckle was low and dark. He pulled me up off the table by my wrists, the air suddenly cold on my chest. Tristan leaned against the table, the tatters of his jeans held up only by his belt. He tugged off his boots and then began working the large buckle.

  With his hand between my shoulders, Ushna pushed me toward the bed. Tristan did a sort of hop shuffle, reaching the mattress first. But before I could follow Tristan onto the bedding, Ushna urged me to turn around. His lips were kiss-swollen, his elliptical pupils dilated. He moved in so close my nipples brushed his chest, startling me with their level of sensitivity, but also bringing my gaze down to his caduceus comprised of two dragons entwined around a sword of blue steel. The albino serpents had changed form to the type of dragon he'd been reborn as.

  He placed his knuckle under my chin, tilting my head up until he caught and trapped my gaze with his. I couldn't have glanced away if I'd wanted to. "Are you going to do what I say?"

  I swallowed. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, so I gulped again. "What about you?" Why was I still fighting the pull to surrender when that was all I wanted to do?

  Ushna's eyes narrowed, the corner of his mouth kicking up. "Won't you and Tristan catch me when I need to fall? You'll take care of me just like I'm getting ready to care for you. You'd do the same for me? Release me from my burdens?"

  "Yes." To all of it.

  "Do you feel guilty for needing your burdens taken away? For not being the one giving?" Ushna's head cocked to the side as if he actually heard the stuttered "Yes" in my head, even though I didn't give voice to the answer. I thought back to every time I'd wanted—no, needed—to touch Tristan or Ushna but had refrained, always with one excuse or another. Telling myself I didn't know their boundaries when it came to displays of affection or I didn't want to embarrass them. I'd held myself away from them because I felt unnecessarily needy. There were always more important things to take care of first. Ushna nodded his head as if reading my thoughts. "I won't have you feeling guilty for needing us. Too many times I've sensed you holding back, keeping yourself separate from us. That will stop right now."

  Before I could protest, he was there, his mouth covering mine. He swallowed my breaths, drawing the ache out of my chest and eating it, leaving me unsteady and raw. How long had I been carrying a burden I couldn't see? When I thought about it, I knew. I'd spent many lifetimes fighting to bring us together. With each reincarnation, I was born with a conviction I was ridiculed for and, inevitably, I lost one or both of them. Even this awakening, I waited for the other shoe to drop, for Inanna to once again steal them from me. Ushna withdrew from the kiss and I chased his lips, needing more of his taste on my tongue.

  He grasped my face. "Now that I'm reborn, I see you. Not only what you show us, but all of you. You cannot hide from us because we know you best."

  Warmth enveloped my back as Tristan pressed against me, raining kisses across my shoulders. "We won't leave you, Brian."

  How did they know my fears when I hadn't uttered a word? I didn't even get a chance to nod before Ushna took possession of my mouth again. Gods, yes! Between Ushna and Tristan, the licking and kissing and the heart-stopping caresses, I forgot my worries, my guilt, and allowed them to make me feel.

  By the time I was on my hands and knees on the bed, pushing my ass back into Ushna, begging for him to fuck me, to fill me up, I was a huge bundle of nerves anxiously waiting for the final shove over the edge because I wanted to fall. When Tristan crawled on his knees in front of me, I fell upon him like a ravenous beast, taking the length of him into my mouth. I swallowed him down until I coughed and then I did it again.

  When Ushna pressed his length into me, I released Tristan to scream. I was ready to come, positive I couldn't take any more, only for Ushna to prove I could. When he snarled for me to surrender, I released the final part of me I'd been holding onto by my claws. My soul became as pliant as my body. With Ushna filling my ass and Tristan heavy on my tongue, the magic that had been building between us and flirting at the edges of my consciousness plunged into me. For once, I was unafraid. Ushna pulled tight on the bonds tying Tristan and me to him, and we rode a wave of power unlike anything I'd felt before. Every time we crested, we were cleansed of something. Indecision. Fear. Sorrow. Guilt. Failure. Loneliness. Jealousy. Rage. With each rise, something negative fell away and when we crested the last wave, ready to fall over the precipice, we were purified.

  "Come with me," Ushna urged.

  And I did with a scream. Tristan painted me with his release, covering my tongue with warm seed.

  Chapter Ten

  "You have to become something more than you are in order to defeat a God, and you cannot do it alone. Each of you will have a role, will have to accept my gift, or none will survive and humanity—not only the Lycans—will be enslaved and then destroyed. Do not fool yourself into believing Inanna will face you alone. She has failed to destroy you over the last four millennia, and now that you are about to take the Seat of Zeev, she will show her hand and throw her arsenal at you. Be wise in your attack. Do what she won't anticipate. Be ruthless. And remember the three of you are only a portion of those who must battle Inanna. Use your ally's assets well." —Tiamat

  Tristan Janick

  "Holy shit! That was intense. "

  What a fucking understatement. We all three lay on the bed gasping for breath, covered in sweat, and I couldn't have felt better. Glancing over to Brian, I grinned at the mixture of shock and bliss flickering across his face. Ushna leaned up on an elbow, now completely in his human form, a soft shy smile parting his lips. What Ushna had done was amazing.

  Brian glanced between Ushna and me, his eyes turning liquid as he held his breath for a long moment before giving a gusty sigh. "I… we… I didn't know how much I needed the release," he finally managed.

  Ushna brushed Brian's blond curls from his forehead, while I threaded my fingers thr
ough Brian's. For the next hour, we listened as Ushna shared his journey with Tiamat.

  Brian frowned, rubbing at his chest. "Something feels different."

  Ushna's smile broadened. "Listen."

  I cocked my head to the side as if the position would help me to hear better. The wind ruffled the curtains. Birds trilled. Distant voices could occasionally be detected, the words indistinct. The sound of our breathing. The beat—I listened harder. Finally, I placed my hand over Brian's heart, the thump underneath my palm the same as the one in my ear.

  "There is only one heartbeat," I said, meeting Ushna's knowing gaze. "What was…"

  "So different about this time together?" Ushna finished for me.

  "This is the first time we joined after Ushna's change." Brian said what I was thinking.

  "Before, we balanced as mortals; now we're bonded as Tiamat meant us to be." Ushna placed his hand over mine where it rested on Brian's chest.

  Brian wrapped his arms around us and pulled us in. I didn't resist, cuddling up to them, eventually falling into a doze as I wallowed in the best afterglow I'd ever experienced. The sound of only one heartbeat, when my logical mind knew there were three of us in the room, was somewhat disconcerting. The change would take some getting used to.

  All too soon, we had to rise and dress. Ladon, Ushna's dragonet, sauntered in, his potbelly swaying with each jaunty step, and claimed Ushna's attention. While Ushna scratched Ladon under the chin, Brian and I dressed. Well, Brian did, each movement causing the black scaled dragon wrapped around his body and imbedded in his skin to ripple as he pulled on his clothes. I was slightly annoyed I was the only one without a stitch of clothing to wear, except for my socks. I found one in a boot. The other still hung from my ankle. After pulling on my boots, I retrieved my belt and buckle. Then I located a garment I could wrap around my waist like a towel.

  Since there were no window panes or doors in the dwelling, everyone had to know why I was practically naked, but none remarked upon my lack of clothing. Although, I was sure that when the tale reached Gregori, he'd have a round of teasing at my expense.