Sūnder (Darksoul Book 1) Read online

  All the way home he chided himself for breaking so many of the carefully constructed rules that kept him away from people who elicited extreme emotions. The rules had kept him safe all these years. Spending more time with Sūnder was in no way safe. He made Gabe want things he knew he shouldn’t have. What if he turned out like his parents and lost himself to high emotions, causing harm to another, possibly even someone he loved and cared about? He’d never forgive himself.

  The idea of physically hurting Sūnder brought Gabe’s out-of-control thoughts up short. There was no way he could really harm Sūnder. Hell, Sūnder could probably snap him in half. But the mere thought of raising a hand in anger against Sūnder felt so wrong it caused a cold shiver to work its way up his spine.

  After unlocking his door, Gabe quickly entered his loft and shed his street clothes, then took out his data pad, contemplating sending Sūnder a message to cancel their date. With quick strokes he typed: I spoke too soon, I forgot I had other obligations…

  Gabe wanted to believe he wouldn’t hurt anyone the way his parents had harmed each other, but could he trust himself to be a better person? Had his experiences, the very DNA he was born with, pushed him in their direction, giving him a penchant for sudden and horrible violence? When he was younger, after they’d left him, he’d often lashed out. Never at Ronan, or Ronan’s parents, but everyone else had been fair game. He’d picked fights, and been thrown out of more establishments than he cared to admit. But he’d worked hard to move away from all of that because he’d wanted to become a nurse, and to do so he needed to be a better person. Hence, his personal rules.

  Rules he planned on breaking again, because he wanted to see Sūnder.

  Groaning, Gabe deleted the message. “Fuck!” Logically, he knew he should call and cancel, remove himself from the situation, but it wasn’t like Sūnder was here looking for a mate. He was escorting the heir apparent. What would it matter if they both had a little fun? Guilt swamped him, because the excitement about seeing Sūnder again was how he should have felt with Pierce.

  Dating Pierce had followed all the rules Gabe had created to keep himself safe, yet even then they hadn’t helped him as much as they should. Mixed with the guilt was the relief Gabe hadn’t wanted to acknowledge when Pierce left. Their relationship had reached the point where Pierce had outgrown Gabe. He’d had no right to ask Pierce to stay; besides, anything he could have said to convince Pierce to remain would have been a lie. Gabe had been the asshole in the relationship, unable to give Pierce what he needed, love Pierce like he wanted. He was happy for Pierce, and hoped he found someone who could be what Gabe wasn’t.

  After showering, Gabe donned his nurse’s scrubs and threw a quick meal together. He turned his relationship with Pierce over and over in his mind, finally accepting that Pierce’s leaving had been the best course of action for both of them. Gabe briefly worried his reaction to Sūnder was some kind of rebound thing, then quickly dismissed it. His interest in Sūnder was only lust. Taking a tumble with the male would not be a hardship. But if he were wrong and he was rebounding, it was fortunate Sūnder would only be in town for a couple more weeks. He could get the lust out of his system and give Sūnder a fond farewell, literally unable to pursue anything more due to the distance between them.

  6

  THE HOTEL BUZZED with activity as Sūnder strode through the glass doors. Knights swarmed the lobby like angry bees protecting their hive. After what had happened at the estate, he should not have ventured out on his own. Needing space, he’d gone anyway, slipping away to mull over everything that had happened at the estate.

  Running into Gabe had taken his mind off his concerns for an hour or so, brightening Sūnder’s world with Gabe’s shy smile and witty humor. He’d been roaming the streets aimlessly when he spied Gabe and his friend entering the deli. Shamefully, his nerves had caused him to linger outside, uncertain. Sūnder had faced devastating armies and dire circumstances and never once had he fumbled or paused, his actions always decisive and sure. Until then. Thank the stars Gabe’s friend had rescued him from the dilemma, creating the perfect opportunity. The more he learned of Gabe, the more certain he became that he wanted the human as his own. Even though Sūnder could smell how much Gabe desired him, there were also moments when his scent turned sharp with reluctance. Gabe hadn’t voiced those thoughts, but occasionally hesitance had crossed Gabe’s expression, as if he’d considered walking away from Sūnder. The trip back to the hotel had been spent making plans to seduce his human, and perhaps contact Gabe’s friend Ronan to ask a few pointed questions about why sorrow clouded Gabe’s eyes even when he smiled.

  Bemused, Sūnder allowed the guards to practically lift him off his feet and haul him into the elevator, eventually prompting him to disembark in the lobby of the penthouse. More knights, bristling with armor and weaponry, awaited him there. The double doors burst open, a harried A’yrē charging from the rooms. Contrition swamped Sūnder at his cous— brother’s worry.

  “Thank the stars you’re okay! What were you thinking, wandering the city without anyone at your back?” Sūnder tuned out A’yrē’s frustrated, angry words, instead basking in the open concern A’yrē had never been able to show in public before, not even in front of just the knights. Sūnder let A’yrē paw and manhandle him as he made soothing noises. “Please don’t help them take you away from me now that I finally have you,” A’yrē pleaded.

  Sūnder purred his happiness and did what he’d wanted to do since the day A’yrē was born: he tenderly rubbed the bridge of his ridged nose from A’yrē’s chin to his left ear, then to the right. The motion caused A’yrē to stop his tirade and hold still under Sūnder’s ministrations.

  A’yrē’s loud purr of contentment matched Sūnder’s, the sound soothing away the tension emanating from the agitated knights. When Sūnder eventually stepped away from his brother, he turned his attention to the guards surrounding them. “My thanks for your concern. I vow not to leave again without you. Now, if you would please give me some time with Prince A’yrē?”

  With obvious reluctance, the knights not assigned to sentry duty entered the elevator. Sūnder ushered A’yrē back into the penthouse. The suite was too extravagant for Sūnder’s taste, but it was only temporary. A’yrē crossed to the dining table set with a smorgasbord of food and, at the reminder, Sūnder’s stomach rumbled with hunger. Ice cream was the only thing he’d eaten since midday.

  A’yrē crunched on his favorite Earth treat, something called Cajun crawfish. “You smell like the human nurse, Gabriel.”

  Sūnder grinned. “He has invited me to his abode and shall feed me a meal prepared by his hand.”

  A’yrē stopped chewing to stare at Sūnder. “Does he know what such a thing means to us?”

  Picking through the selection of morsels, Sūnder filled his plate while contemplating his answer. “No, I don’t believe so, but his scent screams ‘want, want, want’ at me. I exercised great restraint in not replying to the obvious invitation.” Panthrÿn culture used handkerchiefs in courting. In offering Gabe his, Sūnder was saying I’m thinking of you. When Gabe pocketed the kerchief, he encouraged Sūnder’s pursuit.

  Sūnder knew to be careful. The Earth’s visitor’s brochure said a human’s scent would say one thing while their mouths conveyed another. The recommendation was to ignore scent offers unless they’d already established relationship guidelines, that the human must make a verbal offer or the Chándariān ask specifically for permission. The penalty for sexually assaulting a human was high, ensuring all Chándariāns would act with caution and propriety when dealing with them. It was also the reason the Festival was established. The location, and meeting with the humans in a safe, public setting, ensured a more agreeable experience for all parties involved. By not meeting Gabe within the established Festival events, Sūnder wasn’t following courting protocol, so he needed to be extra careful.

  A’yrē finished chewing and swallowed. “Then it is even more important that you ha
ve your security detail with you at all times. If you are serious about your intentions with Gabriel, you need witnesses. You wouldn’t want to bring danger to his doorstep and have no way of defending him, would you?”

  Chagrined, Sūnder agreed despite the fact he was more than capable protecting Gabe himself. “It wasn’t my intention to seek him out when I went for a walk. The meeting was fortuitous.”

  Now more than ever, Sūnder was sure he wanted Gabe. The way A’yrē stared at him said something of his conviction showed in his expression. Sūnder tried to explain. “He is…” He wanted to say perfect, but A’yrē would scoff at him for using such a broad term. “Funny. Kindhearted, but attempts to hide it. He loves being a nurse and helping people. He smells… incredible. Of need, of hope. But when he laughs his eyes still reflect sadness. Sometimes he looks at me as if he will run away, yet he loves my scent.” Sūnder couldn’t wait until he saw Gabe again, to dig below the surface and entice Gabe to open up to him. He wanted to know all Gabe’s secrets, his desires, and then find a way to give him every single one.

  A’yrē frowned. “He can scent you? Humans don’t have the capability.”

  Sūnder sipped his water, turning over exactly what Gabe had said. “Perhaps he has a better nose than other humans? Because he definitely enjoyed my pheromones.”

  While Sūnder considered reasons Gabe could detect his scent, A’yrē placed a call to Valiant. The captain of Sūnder’s knights would have made the first report already, but A’yrē gave a more thorough accounting. When Sūnder took the phone from A’yrē, he was startled to receive a parental dressing-down for wandering the city unprotected. Never mind that he was one of the few revered Bladedancers and more than capable of defending himself. Sūnder stood in the middle of the penthouse with a goofy grin on his face as his king—his father—expressed his concern, something that had never happened before. Valiant alternated between surprisingly fluent strings of cursing and extracting multiple promises from Sūnder to not go out alone again.

  A’yrē stayed the night. They talked about Tālia of Nellá for some time, conjecturing about the game she played. Sūnder still found it strange to suddenly have his family, the one he’d longed for and that Tālia of Nellá had unexpectedly given back to him. Even so, he was hard-pressed to forget the seasons of yearning and bitterness. Judging by his father’s and A’yrē’s actions, they’d been as tormented as Sūnder but, like him, had never given voice to what they wanted.

  When A’yrē went to leave, he launched himself at Sūnder, who quickly caught him. He hadn’t expected A’yrē to hold on so tightly. “We have yet to talk about how I can see through your senses, but that must wait. Times have turned dangerous, and changes are on the wind. Be safe, big brother.” After squeezing tighter when Sūnder attempted to push A’yrē away, he whispered in Sūnder’s ear, “I know this: after all the seasons of pretending we weren’t blood, us finally being a family is strange, especially since we owe it to Tālia of Nellá. She must have some scheme up her sleeve, and I have no doubt she will attempt to take this newfound closeness away from us. But regardless, please don’t hold back when all I’ve ever wanted to do is embrace you like a brother and claim you as such in front of others.”

  Sūnder gave in and wrapped his arms around A’yrē. He wanted to tell his brother he was afraid, afraid he would barely have his family before Tālia found a way to steal them back. That once again he’d have to stand on the sidelines, watching the family that should be his. Better to never know such a thing than to experience it and have it torn away. He wasn’t sure he could withstand the despair if it came to pass.

  But he said nothing of his personal nightmares, instead clutching A’yrē until he grunted and laughed. When he finally released A’yrē, his brother had never appeared happier, saying a quick farewell before bounding out of the penthouse to battle politics by his—no, their—father’s side.

  ~ : § : ~

  The days leading up to Friday dragged by slowly, giving Sūnder time to mull over Tālia of Nellá’s intentions. For the first couple of days, Sūnder gave in to paranoia when he was out and about in the city. He covertly watched every L’fÿn. Were there more dròw walking the city streets, or did the knowledge he held cause them to stand out in the crowds? Nothing seemed changed. L’fÿns actively avoided him, and dròw watched him from afar, just as they always had. Which only led him to believe Tālia was aiming for something which necessitated breaking the accords. The question became, what? The only possibilities Sūnder could come up with were that Tālia was hoping to force her people to either go to war with the Panthrÿns or declare a DarkHunt against him. Hopefully, after spending so many seasons in a silent conflict with her and the people of Nellá, Valiant would be able to quickly devise the why.

  When he wasn’t mulling over Tālia’s intentions, his thoughts turned to Gabe, with his golden-bronze skin, sleek black hair, and dark, piercing eyes. Sūnder ached every time he recalled the night at the ice cream parlor, especially Gabe’s laugh and the way he’d whimpered when Sūnder cleaned his hand.

  When Sūnder had first smelled Gabe at the hospital, his scent hadn’t been mingled with another’s. But when he saw how Gabe behaved with Ronan, the love in his eyes when he looked at him, Sūnder had wondered if he’d read Gabe’s single status wrong. Scents did dissipate when mates were away from each other for long periods of time, and if Gabe had been working long hours…

  Then Ronan confronted him, excitement swirling about him, demanding he get his “royal-guarding ass inside and make Gabe’s day”, clarifying the situation wonderfully. The night had been more than pleasant.

  “We’ve arrived, Commander,” the driver announced.

  Sūnder broke from his thoughts and looked through the limo window. The outside of the renovated warehouse Gabe lived in appeared bland but well kept. He scowled at the open grins his knights gave him before they left to clear the area. As if he’d never met with another male before! Sūnder huffed. Not like this, I haven’t. Impatient, he fidgeted with the end of his tail as he waited for their signal. He usually cleared the area for A’yrē; being on the receiving end made Sūnder respect A’yrē’s patience.

  Paulo stuck his head back in the vehicle. “When you are ready, Your Highness.” The teasing humor in the last two words combined with Paulo’s contented scent caused Sūnder to give a small hiss of mock warning, which only made Paulo laugh.

  Sūnder grabbed his bag and exited the vehicle. Going through the doors, Sūnder took in everything about the building. The commander in him assessed the security, or lack thereof, as he bypassed the rickety elevator to climb the stairs to the third floor. There was only one door, and Sūnder knocked.

  Something smelled wonderful, the delectable aroma teasing him, and he could only imagine how much more mouthwatering the scent would be inside Gabe’s home. Sūnder’s knights gave rumbles of approval, reminding him to beat A’yrē the next time he saw his brother for telling them that Gabe courted Sūnder with food made especially for him. Their approval stoked his pride in his future mate, but at the same time he was uncomfortable with the attention. No one had cared or noticed his romantic interests before, not that he’d previously considered a long-term relationship. To be fair, Válora had vocalized her displeasure when he only took people to his bed for short trysts, but now the guards watched him in a new, more expectant way.

  The door opened, snapping Sūnder out of his sullen thoughts.

  Gabe stood there, framed by the doorway, looking unsure of himself even as he stole Sūnder’s breath away. His dark hair was carefully combed, the black slacks and equally dark, silken button-up hugged Gabe’s shoulders, hinting at the form the material subtly hid from the eye.

  Wanting to grab Gabe’s attention and take his mind off whatever had caused that expression, Sūnder quickly closed the gap between them. Even though Gabe had to have showered several times over the past week, Sūnder’s markings were still there, albeit faint.

  “Hello, my Gabr
iel.” Sūnder purred, unable to keep himself from inhaling again.

  Those luminous eyes stared up at him, uncertainty in their depths. “You said fake scent—scent enhancers—muddled your senses, so I bought soap and stuff that didn’t have any artificial or chemical perfumes added.” Gabe gazed up at him, the wariness sliding from his gaze as his eyes devoured Sūnder’s features as if memorizing him. “I don’t stink, do I? I’ve never used odorless deodorant before.”

  “Let me check.” The last time he’d marked Gabe, Sūnder had memorized his scent. He’d recognize Gabe anywhere now. Sūnder rubbed the ridges of his nose along Gabe’s jaw to his ear as he inhaled, checking for the scents of others. He found none but his. No one competed for Gabe’s affections, appeasing the Panthrÿn in him.

  Pleased, Sūnder let out a deep purr. “You smell perfect.”

  Gabe flushed a delightful, rosy hue. The polite throat clearing from behind Sūnder caused Gabe to stiffen and move away. Gabe took in the three guards as if seeing them for the first time. “My apologies.” The light blush on his cheeks darkened.

  Sūnder bowed. “No, I should have called ahead and let you know I would have an escort. It is a necessity, for now. They need to sweep the area before I can enter. With your permission, of course.”

  Gabe’s eyes grew wide, and he stepped aside. “By all means, sweep away.”

  Two of the guards slipped by, their hands on their weapons. Gabe moved closer. “Are you all right? Are you in danger?”

  Sūnder rushed to alleviate Gabe’s concern. “Yes, I’m fine. No, I’m not in danger.”

  “Yes, you are,” Paulo countered. Sūnder glared, but Paulo ignored him. “Prince Sūnder has found himself in the middle of a Panthrÿn-L’fÿn political mess that could bring out darkhunters.”

  Gabe glanced sharply at Sūnder when Paulo called him ‘Prince’, obviously registering Sūnder’s change in status, but the surprise quickly morphed into alarm.