Sūnder (Darksoul Book 1) Read online

  Sūnder moved as close as he could to Gabe, enduring Gabe’s look of exasperation, but he squeezed Sūnder’s hand comfortingly. During one of their many talks, Sūnder had revealed the significance of feeding others something he’d made himself. For example, Gabe cooking a meal especially for Sūnder was a courting gesture, the equivalent of showing Sūnder he could provide. Inviting a group of others to eat food made by his hand, such as when he fed Paulo and the two knights breakfast, was a request for them to consider being a part Gabe’s intimate family circle, to be more than passing friends, and drop the use of titles.

  So when Válora sliced the confectionary, giving Gabe the first piece, and everyone waited for Gabe to take the first bite, Gabe understood what it all meant. Sūnder watched Gabe’s eyes become liquid with emotion, the proud way he sat in his chair, the gasp of delight at his first taste of Válora’s favorite dish, and thanked the sun and stars that Gabe was finally his.

  When he glanced over the dining area, many of the Earth-born guardians and faeborn were reading their data pads, and when Sūnder concentrated on listening, the conversations were about Chándariān customs and laws. He almost felt sorry for Guardian Gaelin, but it was a lesson that needed to be learned, and at least this way the only thing harmed was Gaelin’s pride.

  Sūnder stifled a groan as he shifted in his seat. He hadn’t wanted to alarm Gabe earlier, but he probably should see Lashūl again about the issue with his abdomen. A series of hard, rounded ridges had formed, three knotted ovals along each stripe. He didn’t know what they were, but the shape and number were too uniform to be natural. He would comply with his promise to Gabe: if the condition worsened, Sūnder would tell him. Until then, he would keep the soreness to himself—as much as he could when his scent would reveal his discomfort if it got worse. There was too much going on right now for him to be able to step back due to illness. However, if he wasn’t feeling better by the time the assembly ended he would seek medical assistance, and have his second assume command of the Oberon.

  23

  GABE WAS SHOCKED at how many people in the dining room crowd were not Panthrÿn. He didn’t know why he was surprised. Perhaps because he thought he’d have an inherent sense of what they were? Still, he was taken aback by how many people in the dining room crowd of guardians, faeborn, and sentinels he’d gone to school with. Even though he remembered most to be friendly, and they had never ignored him or openly shunned him, it hurt to find out they had all known more about his family than he.

  He thanked Válora for the meal, which prompted Ronan and Akirá to do the same as they all rose to their feet. The guardians and faeborn left their tables as well, intercepting Gabe and Sūnder before they reached the door. Gabe was relieved that Ronan didn’t leave, but instead remained with him as the guardians and faeborn introduced themselves. No one attempted to make any kind of physical contact, for which Gabe was grateful. He didn’t mind shaking hands, but he might not be able to hold his temper if Sūnder was touched anywhere else.

  The faeborn peppered Sūnder with questions like: “could they quit wearing contacts and dyeing their hair?” “Would the Panthrÿn and Faelÿn help them with the L’fÿn?” “Were there many faeborn and guardians on Slorèx?” “Would they be going to the Jade Forest straight away?” “Was there a plan to contain and dispose of the scarabs to keep them from ravaging the forest?” And all the while they stared at Sūnder with a sort of awe. Apparently not every guardian or faeborn was bonded, and those without were hopeful they would find bondmates on Slorèx.

  Gabe wasn’t surprised that Sūnder had questions of his own. Sūnder had only learned how to use his magick through experimentation, and was excited to know what the Earth faeborn could teach him. He covered a grin when Sūnder explained his attempts to alter his appearance as a cub. How could the Earth faeborn change their coloring when he could not? It was interesting to know that magick understood the difference between wanting to appear different verses needing to blend in to survive.

  “I’m really sorry,” Gaelin said to Gabe. “I know how protective guardians can be over their faeborn. I wasn’t thinking. Princess Válora probably hates me now. She won’t hold my actions against the group, will she? It’s not their fault that I didn’t get far in my studies of Slorèx. It was easy to put off because my family suspected I was involved with something and were watching me carefully. I’d thought I had months yet, and then suddenly we were moving with only hours of notice.”

  “She understands all of you are new and, unlike the participants of the Festival who have had weeks to learn about Chándaria and her people, you are only beginning your studies,” Sūnder replied. “If she truly disliked you, you would have no doubts about it.”

  “I offended Gabe— Prince Consort Gabriel,” Gaelin hastily added, ducking his head. “Which she seemed to take doubly hard.”

  Sūnder nodded his agreement to Guardian Gaelin’s statement. “She is very protective of those she considers hers.”

  The silence stretched until several people spoke at once, peppering Gabe with questions: “Prince Consort Gabriel, tell us about Sūnder being poisoned”, “Did you see what it was that Prince Sūnder cleansed that carried the pollution?” and “How were you able to cleanse your faeborn without training?” among the loudest.

  His faeborn. Gabe almost breathed out a sigh of relief that they understood how he felt. “I can show you, if the head physician doesn’t mind all of us being in the infirmary.” He looked to Sūnder, who was already contacting Dr. Lashūl.

  “He said he will move Milāni and Quinlān to a larger room, and have containment bags ready,” Sūnder said once he’d finished speaking with Dr. Lashūl.

  “Akirá and I can accompany you,” Ronan offered. “We can help with some of the questions, since he and I were there when Milāni, Shaefer, and Quinlān were poisoned.”

  Gabe released a pent-up breath and nodded, happy for the help. The multiple inquiries were starting to become overwhelming.

  While Sūnder led the way to the infirmary, Gabe explained what had happened at the park. It was strange having so many people listening intently to what he said. By the time he’d finished, more than one guardian looked green.

  “We’ve only heard of one type of poisoning so harsh as to cause a guardian to purge scarabs,” Gaelin said, meeting the eyes of several guardians. “I wonder if the elders know this pollutant is on Earth?”

  “They are aware, and have been cleansing the spots as they are found,” Ronan said. “I warned the Sentinels of the one in the park so they could scour the area and make sure it all had been picked up.” He and Akirá trailed along behind the group.

  Gaelin let out a sigh of relief. “Well, that’s good.” He turned back to Gabe. “We know the Jade Forest is still polluted. At the time of the war, the Guardians were more concerned with the healing of the faeborn than the balance of the forest. Many who were poisoned never returned to full health. They went mad—some were lost inside their minds, others killed themselves. The claim that faeborn attacked and murdered L’fÿns is a crock of shit. They couldn’t even care for themselves, much less go on a killing rampage.”

  Gabe had suspected as much, which only begged the question of who it was that had fought the L’fÿns? The Guardians? The Green Sentinels? Or even some other group he didn’t know about yet? They entered the infirmary and Gabe shelved his questions for later.

  Shaefer stood between Quinlān and Milāni’s beds. When Gabe met his gaze, Shaefer grinned widely, his dark-ringed gaze dropping to Gabe’s hands as he swiftly crossed the room. “Gabe! Are you really all right?”

  Shaefer swept Gabe into a bear hug but released him before Sūnder could so much as snarl. Then Shaefer embraced Sūnder as well. “I’m sorry I put your guardian in danger, Prince Sūnder,” Shaefer said. “But I am grateful he saved my life.”

  “I wasn’t in any danger,” Gabe grumbled. Not that anyone heard his protest; they all surrounded Shaefer, peppering him with more questions.


  “You’re correct.” Gaelin hadn’t joined the group around Shaefer. “The one thing the elders constantly reminded us of is what it meant to be called Guardian. Faeborn are strong and capable, but they are also vulnerable. We not only help them balance, we stand guard, protecting them when they walk the ethereal plain to cleanse the land. However, we also defend them, and have been known to fight for them with extreme violence. The L’fÿns have buried the truth about the Scarab War so thoroughly that they have forgotten who it is they should actually be afraid of.”

  Gabe held Gaelin’s dark, steady gaze, glad to finally have the answer to the one question that had been bugging him. Faeborn, when poisoned, became darksouls, but they weren’t the bloodthirsty beasts L’fÿns claimed them to be. They didn’t murder. They didn’t use their magick to harm others. They were only a danger to themselves. The poison warped their minds, inducing some sort of dementia or mental illness.

  That wasn’t to say the mentally ill weren’t dangerous, some were very much so. But among the files Princess Válora had sent him were memoirs from Panthrÿn soldiers, details of what they’d witnessed when they first entered the Jade Forest, reporting the hundreds of graves of faeborn who’d died directly before the war started. Also included were statements from druids indicating that the faeborn died of poisoning. Those records, coupled with the ones describing how the scarabs only devoured communities held by certain noble houses, pushed Gabe to believe the vilification of the faeborn had been intentionally misdirected, especially since he himself had purged scarabs after cleansing first Sūnder and then Shaefer.

  No, poisoned faeborn couldn’t have waged a battle, much less a war, which meant the Guardians had to be responsible. It seemed likely the only ones who knew the truth were the elders hiding on Earth. Gabe wanted to sneer at them for being cowards, but when he glanced across the room and Sūnder looked up as if he knew he would find Gabe staring at him, and smiled so brightly Gabe caught his breath, he realized he couldn’t fault them for their actions. He knew then he would do anything to protect Sūnder. Just like the guardians of old, he would seek vicious, bloody vengeance if Sūnder were harmed or killed. Moreover, if it meant keeping Sūnder safe from a mysterious substance that had killed hundreds of faeborn, he too would hide.

  When Gabe turned back to Gaelin, the guardian stared curiously at him, as if waiting for some kind of reaction. Gabe gave him a hard grin. “My advice to you and the other guardians is to remember well the lessons your elders taught you, because I don’t believe what they were fleeing from is gone.”

  “Our scouts said as much. You know,” Gaelin added hesitantly, “they are your elders as well.”

  A coldness swelled within Gabe. Gaelin retreated a half step, his eyes going wide.

  “No, they’re nothing to me, Guardian Gaelin.” Gabe shook his head. “They lost any right of association when they cast me out. When we land on Slorèx I will bear Panthrÿn surnames, and any deeds Sūnder and I do will be accredited to those households alone.”

  Gaelin’s expression turned grim, but he didn’t argue, for which Gabe was grateful. “If you don’t mind, Your Highness, I would like to invite you to just call me Gaelin. And please don’t invite the same in return, not that I think that you would or anything, but I don’t think that I can do the same… at least for a while. I don’t want Princess Válora to find any reason to dress me down again. She’s quite scary.” Gaelin quickly looked around as if he expected Válora would be nearby, ready to pounce.

  Despite the way they’d been introduced, he was beginning to like Gaelin.

  Changing the subject abruptly, Gaelin asked, “Are there many unpaired faeborn on Slorèx? It is dangerous for them to be without a guardian, even if they don’t join us in the Jade Forest. A guardian will keep them from burning out.”

  “A couple dozen, I think. The king would know how many and where. Whoever your foreperson is will need to speak to King Valiant to…”

  A strange look crossed Gaelin’s face. “Many are leaning toward electing you and Sūnder to speak for us. You are stronger than we are by far. That pulse of warning you sent out proved it. Until you, only the oldest of the elders could communicate in such a way. Not only that, but you’re the only one of us who has experience with the toxin. And Sūnder is familiar with Slorèx. The list of reasons goes on, but you should be aware that it is likely you and your mate will be asked to lead us.”

  Gabe opened his mouth to give a quick denial but stopped. Wasn’t changing how Chándariāns viewed faeborn one of the things he wanted to accomplish? But what did he even know about leading? He didn’t have to guide them to make the changes. Gabe glanced at Sūnder. As a fleet commander, he would know a lot about taking charge, and sometimes the best way to get things done was do them yourself…

  “Just think about it,” Gaelin urged.

  Gabe only nodded. Because really, even though he was uncomfortable and wanted to say no, this was something he and Sūnder would need to decide together. Especially when they also had to take Sūnder’s responsibilities to the crown into consideration, now that he’d been recognized as King Valiant’s son.

  Dr. Lashūl crossed the room holding two containment bags. “Gabe, we are ready whenever you are.”

  The room went quiet and all eyes turned to him. Did he really have a choice of whether or not he would be one of their leaders? He hoped so. Taking a deep breath, Gabe settled himself. This was no different than training a new nurse coming onboard at the hospital.

  Easily falling into lecture mode, he spent the next two hours showing the guardians how to cleanse Quinlān and Milāni, a part of him very happy he wasn’t the one purging the scarabs this time around.

  24

  SŪNDER COULDN’T stand the stifling silence in the helliopod. It was only the two of them, and Gabe was furious.

  “Gabe,” he implored softly. He’d tried to get Gabe to speak to him ever since Gabe had caught him examining his abdomen before they left the ship. But after a few terse questions, Gabe had clammed up. He didn’t shrug off Sūnder’s touch, which Sūnder tried to tell himself meant something, but he was still afraid.

  “Did you tell Dr. Lashūl, have him run some scans?” At least the silent treatment had stopped, although Gabe’s clipped words didn’t feel much better.

  “I was waiting until after the assembly,” Sūnder confessed.

  Gabe’s head slowly panned toward him, his expression full of incredulity and fear. Sūnder had said something wrong, and for the life of him, he didn’t know what.

  “You have unidentified lumps on your stomach, and you were going to wait to seek treatment?”

  Suddenly feeling like a cub waiting for his mother’s wrath to explode, Sūnder was afraid to answer. He shook off the sensation, his own ire rising. “I am a mature male. I know my body. When I seek a healer for help is my decision.”

  Gabe’s posture deflated but the stubborn tilt to his jaw told Sūnder that Gabe wasn’t finished. “Something could be seriously wrong. You already said this has never happened to you before. And you went from mild discomfort to having masses under your skin within a only few days. I told you I was concerned your soreness was an infection. People die from infections, Sūnder! There could be any number of diseases that present with the same symptoms. What happens if diagnosis and treatment takes too long because you’ve put it off?”

  “And I have already told you that my magick protects me from bodily ailments.” He would know if he carried a septicity; he’d fall into a meditative sleep to speed the healing. If he had a contagion, which Sūnder was sure he didn’t, he would be well again in hours. Whatever was going on with his body, it wasn’t a malignant disease.

  Glancing down at his clasped hands, Gabe said, “Except for the contaminant. What if I didn’t collect all of it from you? What if the lumps are the result of the toxin being trapped in your body for days?”

  Sūnder opened his mouth to give an immediate denial, but what did they really know abou
t the toxin that had attacked him in the park? “You said the impurity affected the mind.”

  “Yes, but we don’t know the full scale of the damage the pollutant can do. That contamination is the only thing your magick can’t protect you from.” Tears glistened in Gabe’s eyes when he glanced back up to Sūnder. “What if I didn’t get every bit of that foul stuff out of you? You could be sick because I didn’t know what I was doing.”

  Sūnder’s defensive anger left in a whoosh and he reached for Gabe, unable to see Gabe hurting so. “I apologize. I didn’t consider that possibility. I have relied on my magick to keep me healthy all my life, and although this ache I’ve been dealing with has been annoying, I was sure my body would work the problem out.”

  “I’m scared, Sūnder.” Gabe’s voice broke and he held on harder. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You won’t, I promise.” He let out a gusty breath. Gabe’s fears weren’t an overreaction. Sūnder hadn’t considered the idea this could be a result of the taint. “I cannot back out of the Festival, but afterward we shall see Lashūl and tell him your concerns.”

  Gabe heaved a sigh of relief. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  Sūnder knew the value of Gabe’s admission. He was in love with a man who kept everyone but a select few at arm’s length. Gabe didn’t want to get attached to people because he was afraid he would be left—abandoned—again, and the devastation would eat him alive. Gabe had let Sūnder past those walls, and now Gabe saw this mystery ache of Sūnder’s as something that could potentially take Sūnder from him.

  The helliopod touched down at the embassy’s landing pad. Válora, Ronan, Akirá, and A’ymon and a few of his silverhands had all arrived ahead of Sūnder and Gabriel to prepare. Válora would attend the Festival with Valiant. Sūnder and Gabe would arrive with A’yrē. The others would show up separately to make it seem like they didn’t know each other. Sūnder was to stay by A’yrē’s side, along with Sūnder’s personal guards, led by Paulo.