Releasing Chaos Read online

  Tristan was no better than anyone else, making assumptions, expecting me to heel when commanded, expressing his disappointment. Though I regretted this rift between us, I wouldn't allow the turmoil to come between me and my goals. He wasn't the only one who had shit to do.

  "Are you ready?"

  I turned to see Juan Ybarra standing outside my cell. The black uniform made his handsome dark looks more striking and gave him a dangerous edge. His expression was unreadable. If he despised me, I couldn't tell. He held a set of chain-linked cuffs up to the barrier. Without answering, I presented my wrists.

  Juan made a motion. A young Magi who stood out of sight came forward to deactivate the barrier. I stood still as Juan moved to snap the cuffs around my wrists. The audible click was immediately followed by a sharp pain racing up my arms. My wolf whimpered as he was magically pushed back, effectively caging him. Wearing the shackles, I wouldn't be able to change forms.

  Gripping my elbow in a firm hold, Juan escorted me outdoors to the waiting vehicle. I kept my spine straight and gaze direct as I met the eyes of the warriors who waited outside the Holding Center. I refused to cower before anyone, for any reason. The back of the van was opened. Benches were set along the walls to the left and to the right. A metal rail was anchored to the floor between the benches. The front of the van was closed off with only a small window within a metal door, allowing the driver to peer into the back. I stepped into the rear and held my hands over the rail. Juan attached the shackles to the bar, pulling experimentally until satisfied they held.

  Without a word, the doors were closed and once again I was alone, the sound of another door slammed before the engine rumbled to life. We were leaving without delay. I squashed the disappointment of not catching at least a glimpse of my siblings. What I wanted didn't matter anymore. Life was filled with wishful thinking and unfulfilled dreams. From the beginning, I'd had one duty, one responsibility. The short time I'd spent on the ranch with Tristan and Neesie had almost made me forget my goal. The two of them caused me to question myself, but my course had been set long ago, and I wouldn't detour from it for any one or any reason.

  Time was indeterminable and the road noise loud. The van jolted, bringing me out of my internal musings. How many stops would we have between here and Bahbelle? Would I be fed and allowed to use the restroom? I thought I heard two doors close before we left the ranch. Would I be able to get away from two warriors? The cuffs would be a problem, but I was sure I could find a way to remove them after I successfully escaped. I was sent careening off the seat and under the bar my wrists were bound to. The metal cut painfully through my skin and wrenched both shoulders as the vehicle swerved violently.

  For one heart-stopping moment, I was sure the van would roll, but it came to a lurching stop instead. There were no windows in the metal box, preventing me from seeing what happened outside. But the shouts and loud gunshots painted a vivid picture. The screech of metal on metal against the back doors caused me to hurriedly scoot up toward the front cab wall and crouch on the floor. There was only so much I could do to protect myself, shackled to the bar and unable to change into my wolf.

  The double doors burst open and the bright sunlight spilled in, causing my eyes to water and burn; I'd only had the overhead dome light for illumination. A couple of males stepped up to the opening, putting them temporarily in shadow. With my sun-blinded sight, I couldn't make out their features. But I didn't need to see to know who stared back at me. Scent was all I needed, for him.

  As my eyes adjusted, Daniel Sullivan's cheshire grin came into focus. The wind ruffled his bleach blond hair. More people moved behind him to peer curiously at me.

  He propped his hip against the tailgate. "Hello, Nathan."

  Daniel's smirk ratcheted up a couple of notches as he took in my outstretched arms shackled to the railing. The way he raked his eyes over me with such obvious lust made me wonder, not for the first time, if Daniel had desired Tristan all along. Tristan and I might have been cousins by blood, but we looked very much the same. Our fathers had been identical twins, which easily allowed father to claim Tristan as his own without causing questions. With an air of cocky confidence, Daniel flashed a set of keys I guessed went to my cuffs, twirling the ring on his finger and catching the set in his palm.

  "Do we still have a deal?"

  Duty. My whole life revolved around responsibility. Was I willing to make a deal with the devil in order to gain my freedom? I finally acknowledged, if only to myself, redemption wasn't in the cards for me. Never was. Could I live with the consequence?

  Yes, I decided, as long as I acquired what I wanted.

  I gave Daniel my coldest smile. "Yes, we do."

  Chapter Two

  Fresh and salt water, each to temper and balance each other. They are the catalyst for creation. —Proverb of Creation

  Ushna Ahura-Yazda

  Finally.

  Everything that had come before, all the struggles and wrenching heartache over the last couple of years culminated into this single moment. At last, I'd come into my own power, allowing me to stand strong next to Tristan and Brian as an equal.

  We stood in the heart of Sanctuary. The ancient city had been uncovered when Tristan returned to me after his time with the Goddess Tiamat. Weeks ago, the place had been the ruins of a crumbling citadel swallowed by a forest north of Bahbelle, Georgia. Now, the denizens of this place, huge jewel-toned snakes and pot-bellied dragonets, breathed new life into the surroundings. Where once the forest had encroached upon dilapidated buildings and broken pillars, gleaming stone columns and landscaped gardens now rose. With every passing day, more and more ground was reclaimed, and I could only imagine how grand the place would be once fully restored.

  In the middle of the revived holy place lay a pool. The salty tang of vast oceans wafted from the placid surface. The lapis lazuli tiles darkened the clear water, making it impossible to see the bottom as I waded to the center. Tiamat floated below with only her scaled, three-fingered hand extended toward me as she patiently waited.

  At my back stood soon-to-be King Tristan Javed Ksathra Janick and King Brian Nico Augustine Minoa, my lovers, my consorts, and my reasons to take up arms against a power I was unsure we could defeat. I'd do anything to keep them safe, even if that meant facing the unknown and changing what I was. I didn't have to glance over my shoulder to know they watched my every move. Tristan worried; he always did. He hated when our duties caused us to be apart, if only for a short period of time. Brian, well, he was hard to read sometimes, but I sensed his gaze on me all the same. Once I satisfied my vow to the Goddess Tiamat and completed our bond, perhaps then I could read him better. Brian held himself slightly aloof from Tristan and me, not separate from us exactly, but expectant, as if he waited for some dire event. I vowed to discover why, but first, I'd take Tiamat's hand and follow her.

  She'd promised to make me what I should've been before the Goddess Inanna meddled with the tie between Tristan, Brian, and me. The three of us were supposed to be born a bonded triad, but because of Inanna, we spent centuries being incomplete, until recently. Perhaps I should thank her for her continued meddling when she sent Daniel to wreak havoc on Tristan's life all those years ago. Daniel's seduction of Theodore Sullivan had set the ball rolling, freeing Tristan from his false Twin Flame. Without Tristan severing the tie, he wouldn't have been free to discover and claim me or his true legacy. Through her actions, Inanna had inadvertently placed Tristan in a situation that allowed him to bring Brian back from the dead, although both of them returned to me different, thrumming with Tiamat's power.

  Now Tiamat came for me, and I had no idea what would come next, only that I would return transformed. Both Tristan and Brian had been taken to Stasis, Tiamat's home of sorts, a place caught between life and death. When Tristan had been taken from me, he'd been sitting at death's doorstep. Brian had died many years earlier when we were only eleven years old. The Goddess Tiamat had pulled them both onto her sheltered plane, an
d there they were made anew, returning to Earth carrying her blood and more within their bodies.

  This morning I'd opened the alabaster box gifted to me by Tiamat. When I was ready to take my formal vows and become Tiamat's Heart, I would need to follow the instructions within and consume the container of liquid filled with floating stars. Unlike my lovers, who'd flirted with death, I was alive and awake, going to her knowing full well my fate. Instead of being nervous or apprehensive, a calm settled over me when I grasped her cool hand, her scales soft under my touch.

  Taking a deep breath, I sank down, allowing her to pull me after her. Warm water enveloped me, quickly soaking through my clothes. Though I was curious about where she'd take me, her large sea-green eyes held me transfixed as we sank into unfathomable depths.

  Tiamat, the primordial dragon of the sea, begot the Sumerian Gods and Goddesses, becoming the first mother. Brian said her true form was very similar to Tristan's dragon with his blue-green scales. At the moment, she wore her humanoid body, although she could never be mistaken for a human. Instead of skin, she was covered in blue-green scales, the hues on her extremities a darker blue, appearing almost black until we floated through a beam of sunlight, revealing the deeper green tones. As she drifted below me, her red hair fanned outward like a fiery halo.

  Lazily we circled down to the bottom. When she finally released my gaze, I glanced up to see the surface nowhere in sight. How long had we been drifting? Was this another plane like Stasis, where only those invited by the Gods could visit? Curiously, I wasn't afraid, only excited, especially when I realized I breathed easily, as if I'd spent my life living in the depths. Made sense, I guessed. We were crafted by Tiamat, Goddess of Saltwater. That she gave me—possibly us—the ability to breathe underwater was logical.

  She smiled as if she'd read my thoughts. "Ushna, my Heart, come. I wish for you to meet someone."

  After she released my hand, she turned, swimming in a fluid undulating fashion. I followed, albeit clumsily compared to her grace. In the distance, vague figures sometimes paced us, but never approached. I wasn't sure how much time passed as we dove deeper into the depths. I sensed the chill, but the iciness of the dark waters didn't affect me.

  Emerging from underneath a rocky overhang, a massive shadow loomed above us. The form was about the size and length of a cruise ship, perhaps larger. When we swam close enough, I understood what I saw. The long slender body had multiple pairs of legs with webbed feet and his scales—the dragon was definitely male—were a mix of white among shades of light browns. His massive head had a thick ribbed snout and bearded whiskers under his chin. His eyes were closed as if he slumbered peacefully. I would, too, if I were encased in a block of ice.

  Tiamat pressed against the barrier, her arms spread wide as if she would embrace his thick neck. Sensing her yearning, to touch yet only able to get so close, my heart broke for her. In a low voice, she spoke a language I didn't understand. The moment seemed personal, so I swam a short distance away, giving her privacy.

  Several long minutes later, she beckoned to me. "Do you know where we are, child?"

  I had only one guess. "The waters of Kur?"

  Tiamat gave me a pleased smile. "Yes, I have brought you here to Abzu for several reasons. Tristan and Brian both have my blood, but even I need someone to be my balance." She stroked the ice tenderly, as if the dragon Abzu could feel her caress. "All power needs something to keep it in check. Are you ready to take on the responsibility of bringing harmony to Tristan and Brian? Your form and strengths will be unlike theirs."

  Looking again at Abzu, he didn't have wings to fly but was designed for speed along the ground and in water. Actually, he reminded me of the Chinese lung. In all honesty, I didn't care what form I took as long as I stood beside my Basherts, girded with the ability to face the same dangers they did. If I balanced their power, I didn't need to think about my answer.

  "I'm ready, Mother."

  Tiamat took my hand and we swam to where one of Abzu's webbed feet hung free from the ice. each finger of the hand-like appendage was six feet long; the claws were massive, easily the length of my arms. She beckoned me into the cradle of Abzu's palm while she stayed on the opposite side.

  "Be still as you drink from him." She used her claws to pull aside a scale and punctured the tender flesh underneath.

  Without hesitation, I placed my mouth over the wound, jolted by the heat of Abzu's blood as it slid over my tongue. When I thought about releasing him, Tiamat's claws carded through my hair, holding my head firmly in place. I swallowed. Staying still was easier said than done. Molten fire zipped through my veins, heating my core, burning me up as it scoured its way through my body and then my mind.

  My eyelids fell shut as I concentrated on remaining motionless, but they snapped opened again when Abzu's fingers wrapped around my body as if I was a miniature doll. The panic of being confined lasted only a second. The worry was banished, replaced by horror when the doors of my mind were thrown open. My consciousness was flooded with the reincarnations trapped behind the barriers separating the different lives I'd lived. My breath was stolen away, not by the surrounding waters, but the inferno engulfing me. I had no way to scream.

  Chapter Three

  Tristan Janick

  Standing aside and watching Ushna being led away by Tiamat was probably one of the hardest things I'd ever done. And that was saying a lot. Not being able to follow, to accompany Ushna on the road he'd traverse, killed me. I realized how fortunate I'd been with Brian by my side on the journey to become Tiamat's. Being without either Ushna or Brian felt as if a part of me was missing. I hadn't recognized the hollowness for what it was until Tiamat had returned Brian to us. Crazy, I know, because Brian had only been back a short time, but he fit, filling that empty space, making us whole for the first time since we'd been created. Now, Ushna would endure what Brian and I had, the taking of the blood, shouldering the burden of awakening and reliving his past lives. If I could, I would have gladly borne the weight for him.

  "Come on. Standing here and staring at the water won't speed him on his journey." Brian ran a soothing hand down my back. "Besides, you have to be tired of holding Theo."

  Glancing down at the shrouded form in my arms, a niggle of apprehension caused my stomach to clench. Theodore Sullivan and I had spent centuries bound together, falsely entwined by Inanna's meddling. She had tied him to me, causing an imbalance between us. That one act threatened the very fiber of Shamash's sacred vows to my ancestors, the children of Enkidu and Gilgamesh. In this last reincarnation, Theo had made several decisions, hurting me deeply enough that I had our bond severed. However, the action had freed me to recognize and claim the two people who were truly meant for me. But I wasn't the only injured party. Theo had been fooled by Daniel, who wore a spelled ring, confusing Theo into believing Daniel was his Twin Flame as well. Too late, Theo uncovered Daniel's subterfuge. He died gathering information on Daniel and the Servants of the Glorious Ones for me, though I didn't know it at the time.

  I couldn't hold Theo one hundred percent accountable for his actions, especially when a part of me was glad he'd cheated. His decisions had freed me, and I couldn't be angry. Through that small turn of events, I'd gained my rightful place at Ushna's and Brian's sides. Besides, Theo was just as much a victim as I was. He deserved to know happiness. So when Tiamat brought him before me, asking if I'd take charge of him and welcome his vow of loyalty, I'd said yes.

  By accepting Tiamat's offer, Theo had sworn to leave behind everything he used to be. She'd break him away from his lineage and cleanse him of everything that made him the child of Inanna—even the blood in his veins. His wolf and any claim to the True Bloods were scoured away, leaving him a clean slate for Tiamat to draw upon.

  Brian was ambivalent to my decision, but Ushna was furious. He remembered too well how the bond with Theo had poisoned me. Ushna was the one who held me down while Nathan gouged the corrupted flesh from my shoulder. He had listened to my screams
of agony as our best friend Gregori magically severed the bond between Theo and me. Then Ushna spent years by my side, when I was little more than a walking zombie, ensuring I survived and didn't fade away. With time, I hoped Ushna would put aside his dislike and let Theo's trespasses go. Until then, I'd do as I promised and take care of Theo. How exactly did Tiamat reshape him? I guessed we'd soon find out. But Brian was right, Theo was fucking heavy.

  Nodding my agreement, Brian and I followed a couple of shiny yellow dragonets. When we first discovered this place, the snakes and dragonets had been carved into the pillars. Ushna's touch had pulled them from the stone and they became living, breathing creatures. The snakes came in all sizes, but the dragonets were a little over two feet long from head to tail. They were squat, dragon-like lizards with rounded potbellies and small wings. They didn't fly like I could in my dragon form, but their wings allowed them to hop and glide for short distances.

  Brian and I were taken to a nearby building carved with colorful glyphs, the markings gleaming brightly in the sun. Inside, plush rugs covered smooth creamy floor tiles and silky pillows accented low sitting furniture. I carried Theo to a bed surrounded by sheer curtains with heavy drapes tied to carved blue columns.